


Six Weeks of Hell

by heartsdesire456



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Arguing, Comedy, Crack, Food Issues, M/M, Vegetarians & Vegans, Yuzuru The House Husband
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21795517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: When Jason decides it would be great for the family's health to change their diet to be strictly vegan, Shoma only agrees because he loves his husband and doesn't want to disappoint him. He's willing to try anything to keep Jason happy, and if a healthier diet is what it takes, it is worth it.... the only problem is, Shoma hates vegetables, loves meat, and over time it starts to drive him a little bit crazy.
Relationships: Jason Brown/Shoma Uno, Jonathan Groff/Yuzuru Hanyu
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Six Weeks of Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Back at it again with another #YuzurutheHouseHusband fic because I had way too much to fit in yesterday's saga, lmao.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: This isn't meant to be insulting to vegans or vegetarians at all. Remember, these aren't my opinions, this is the point of view of Shoma Uno, self-proclaimed meat-lover and veggie-hater, as he slowly descends into madness and misery from being forced to eat plant-based everything for six weeks.
>
>> S: It's official, we're getting divorced  
>  Y: OMG WHAT WHY???  
>  J1: We aren't getting divorced  
>  S: Yes we are I can't live like this anymore!  
>  J2: Wow you guys seemed so happy all this time.  
>  J: We are! He's being ridiculous  
>  S: Not when you're abusive!  
>  Y&J2: WHAT[#YuzuruTheHouseHusband](https://twitter.com/hashtag/YuzuruTheHouseHusband?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw) [pic.twitter.com/rgzV4kZQN1](https://t.co/rgzV4kZQN1)
>> 
>> — Chels ⛸💜🐱 🐗 (@heartsdesire456) [December 13, 2019](https://twitter.com/heartsdesire456/status/1205536245335625729?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)
>
>> J: If I agree to stop the 'torture' will you stop telling people you're divorcing me? There are already rumors.  
>  S: Yep. I'll forgive you entirely.  
>  J: Okay. You win. Now tell them how I 'abused' you.  
>  S: He made the whole family go vegan!  
>  Y&J: ........[#YuzuruTheHouseHusband](https://twitter.com/hashtag/YuzuruTheHouseHusband?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw) [pic.twitter.com/GHFiJWSEko](https://t.co/GHFiJWSEko)
>> 
>> — Chels ⛸💜🐱 🐗 (@heartsdesire456) [December 13, 2019](https://twitter.com/heartsdesire456/status/1205622145507827713?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)

After ten years of marriage, Shoma never expected his husband would ever betray him in such a disgusting fashion. He looked at Jason and wondered where the man he loved had gone and who this heathen he had become even was. This was not the man Shoma had slept beside every night for ten years. This was not the man who had given him six beautiful children. This was not the man who owned his heart and soul.

This was a monster.

“What do you mean ‘vegan’?” Shoma asked slowly, looking at him blankly.

Jason nodded, smiling his big, happy golden retriever smile. “Yeah, Jimin was telling me all about the health benefits and the benefits to the environment even, and honestly it’s not even that big of a change when you think of all the meat and dairy substitutes that are available these days. I promise, Sho, you won’t even notice a difference!”

Oh holy fuck.

“No?” Shoma said in confusion. “I’m not going to go _vegan_ , are you high?”

Jason sighed, pouting at him. “Shoma. Please? It’s good for the kids. It’s good for us. Benji and Hanna will be stronger than ever, and oh my gosh, all the extra veggies will make Rentaro and Kayla grow up so healthy, and health in your childhood reflects for the rest of your life!” He nodded at Shoma. “And I’m not saying anything, but you could probably benefit the most from it, you know.”

Shoma narrowed his eyes. “Are you calling me fat?”

“Of course not,” Jason said, though it was pretty obvious he totally was. “I’m just saying you have the least healthy eating habits of all of us and you’re already at risk for heart disease because-“

“Because I’m fat?” Shoma asked flatly.

Jason took his hands and pulled him closer. “Shoma, you know you are perfect to me.” He curled his hands around Shoma’s middle, pulling him closer. “You know you’re the sexiest man alive in my eyes,” he said flirtatiously. “I’d say the six children proves I really, really think you look good,” he mentioned.

Shoma sighed, rolling his eyes. “I sense a but coming.”

Jason smiled as innocently as ever. “Shoma, your doctor did say you could stand to lose ten or fifteen pounds for your heart health.”

“See, I knew it, I knew you were calling me fat!” Shoma said, wiggling out of Jason’s arms. “Goddamn it, whatever. I can’t stop you anyways since I can’t cook,” he complained. “I’m _not_ going vegan, but I’ll eat the gross shit you cook because I’m such a fat ass I get too hungry to not eat.” 

“Shoma, I promise, it’s not going to be so bad, you’ll see!” Jason called after him, and Shoma just flipped him the bird over his shoulder as he stormed out of the kitchen. 

~

The children were traitors, Shoma decided, because the first night Jason cooked a vegan meal for dinner, every single one of them loved it, even Izumi’s fat little ass (he inherited Shoma’s childhood baby fat big time). “Oh wow, Dad, this is amazing!” he gushed as he ate another bite of his meatless white bean and tomato and cilantro and onion taco. “It’s just like a normal taco!”

“I know, right?” Jason asked excitedly. “I just used a different type of seasoning and tada! Totally delicious!”

Shoma watched all the kids eating with gusto and sighed as he took another bite of it. It wasn’t the grossest thing he’d ever eaten. But who wanted a taco made of beans when you could have meat in it? Also, the meal included a fucking salad that had a sweet dressing and fruits and nuts in it, so the kids actually were willingly eating fucking _kale_. Shoma took one bite just to be a good sport and almost threw up. Rentaro at least got spared from this nonsense, Shoma thought as he watched his baby clumsily eating cheerios off the tray of his high-chair and drinking milk from his sippy cup. 

Shoma almost envied him.

“Oh, and there’s dessert, too!” Jason said, and Shoma felt a small flicker of hope until he saw the dry ass looking bars of _something_ Jason brought back to the table. “Chocolate chip bars without any dairy or eggs but still entirely delicious!” Shoma reluctantly took one and, when Jason smiled at him, he faked a smile and took a bite. 

Just as suspected it tasted like chocolate covered dirt, and yet the children, because it was chocolate, ate theirs without any complaint. 

~

A week. Shoma survived a whole week of vegan eating before he tried to sneakily buy beef jerky and Little Debbie cakes at the grocery store to hide them somewhere to snack in private. However, because toddlers and babies didn’t understand how to really lie yet, even though he told Kayla not to tell Daddy he had ‘secret snacks’ when he was hiding them under the sink at the very back, as soon as Jason got home and asked what they wanted for dinner, veggie burgers or spaghetti with vegan meatballs, Kayla ratted him out.

“Chi Chi has secret snacks to eat!” she said with a big, innocent smile while Shoma looked at her in utter betrayal.

“Kayla, shhhh!”

“Secret snack!” Rentaro repeated, then giggled and clapped his hands. “Secret snack secret snack!”

“Yeah, he put them under the sink!” Kayla offered and Shoma wondered how he raised a child who ratted him out with such ease.

Jason put his hands on his hips and turned to Shoma with a narrow-eyed look. “Shoma Uno-Brown, have you been sneaking unhealthy snacks behind my back?”

“No,” Shoma blurted out, but he blushed when he lied so Jason read right through it.

“Shoma! You agreed to do it for our family’s health!”

Shoma sucked his teeth and whined. “Fine!” He knew he was acting like one of the children when as he stomped over to the sink. He took the bag out and held it up, shaking it at Jason. “You better know how much I love you, Jason, because I swear to God, what I’m about to do physically pains me.” He walked over to the garbage can, looked at his bag of delicious, salty, savory, cured meat goodness and fattening, sugary, dairy-filled snack cakes, and hung his head as he mournfully dropped them into the open garbage can. He looked down at them and wondered if he was really above digging through the trash at two in the morning to get them back since they were in sealed packages and technically would still be edible even when they were covered in garbage. However, he decided, he was an adult and a father and he couldn’t resort to dumpster diving for beef jerky just to go behind his husband’s back like a bad person. 

“Shoma. Honestly. The food I’ve been cooking is good!” Jason complained. “The kids all eat it!”

“They’re children, some of them still eat _dirt_ for fun if nobody’s watching carefully,” Shoma countered as he turned around and looked at him. “Which sounds about right, because the veggie burgers taste exactly like dirt. At least cook the goddamn corndogs since I already hated hotdogs so at least this doesn’t look like it’s going to taste good.”

Jason sighed. “Shoma, come on. It’s not that bad. The veggie burgers taste good if you put toppings on it-“

“I DON’T LIKE STUFF!” Shoma argued. “Lettuce, tomatoes, onions, pickles, all of it’s _disgusting_!” He clenched his jaw and deflated. “Look. I’m not going to fight about this. I’ll eat whatever you cook. If I’m so fat you’re genuinely concerned for my health, I’ll do it because I love my children and I want to still be around when they have children. So fine. Cook the veggie burgers. Whatever,” he said, not even caring he was being dramatic as he stormed out.

He really fucking wanted that goddamn beef jerky. 

~

Three more weeks of suffering and Shoma had lost ten pounds already because he could barely eat anything Jason cooked. He was dying. He hated everybody and everything. Jason was punishing him for gaining weight and he knew it. He thought Jason thought he was sexy still, but he was pretty sure this was Jason’s way of specifically trying to make Shoma look like he did when he was still skating. The worst part was, Shoma loved that bastard and his stupid manipulative ways so much he couldn’t stand to disappoint him. 

The _one_ time he went to sneak fast food after everybody had gone to bed, he could only eat half a burger before he felt _guilty_ for sneaking around behind Jason’s back. Sure, the kids all seemed fine with this – apart from a few meltdowns about not getting certain favorite foods anymore – but Shoma wasn’t like them. He didn’t eat vegetables. He hated them. He hated everything about them. The night Jason served a salad as the whole fucking meal, he did go out of his way to make Shoma a goddamn plate of fake chicken nuggets made out of tofu and chickpeas, but the fact they looked like chicken nuggets but weren’t chicken nuggets only made them taste worse, so it was almost like an insult. 

Though he briefly thought that maybe he was being delirious from the constant hunger and general lack of a will to live – not to mention lack of sex because for the past month he kind of hated the man he loved for his suffering and had very little desire for him even if he did still love him to death – he started to wonder if maybe this was abusive. Jason had him manipulated into caring more about disappointing him than achieving happiness in life. Surely even if he was his husband and the father of his children, love shouldn’t come before whether or not he hated his life now. Sure, his children were the best parts of his day and he loved his husband, but he was constantly miserable and dreading the next meal. Eating was one of his favorite things to do before. Even when he was a champion skater, he would eat a big, juicy steak and French fries fried in grease and everything bad in his life faded away. Now he didn’t even have it in him to lie and sneak around and eat a steak because he cared more about his husband and family than he did his own happiness. 

Before, that felt like just life as a married parent of six, but at least then he could care more about his husband and family _and_ find a quiet moment of personal happiness by eating a ten-piece chicken nugget meal with ranch sauce for lunch. Now he parented and husbanded all day for goddamn mushroom ‘meatless-loaf’ leftovers for lunch.

The longer it went on, the more he considered that maybe, just maybe, his perfect husband was actually a manipulative monster intent on making him miserable one vegan recipe at a time. It broke his heart to imagine, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that a good husband wouldn’t strip away his joy and force him to starve to death the way Jason was now without warning after ten happy years.

~

It took six weeks before he hit the breaking point when Jason decided to serve the biggest insult to Shoma’s culture that ever existed to him and their six Japanese children.

Vegan sushi.

“ _What_?” Shoma asked, looking at the horror that was little cupcake cups of brown rice stuffed with vegetables, instead of fish on top of rice or inside of nori, that lay out before him when he came downstairs to see what Jason was cooking for them while the children washed up. 

“Yeah! It’s obviously not like the real thing, but still, it looks similar and it’s super tasty-“

“You’re serving my _Japanese children_ sushi without nori OR fish?!” He looked at Jason, eyes narrowed. “Are you fucking serious?”

Jason frowned, looking taken aback. “We’re a vegan family now, Shoma. And what does that have to do with anything? We used to take them to a sushi place that had totally western sushi, not the real thing-“

“It still had fucking fish! Or nori! Which is what makes it sushi!” Shoma said, shaking his head. “Okay no. Just no. You’re not feeding my children fish-less sushi in a goddamn cupcake cup. Get rid of this shit and order a fucking vegan pizza or some bullshit!”

Jason huffed. “Shoma, nowhere around us has vegan pizza, you have to make that or go to a vegan restaurant-“

“It’s still better than serving them CUPCAKE CUPS of _brown_ rice with chunks of fucking carrots and cucumber in it and calling it sushi!” Shoma argued. 

“Shoma, fine, I’m sorry for calling it sushi cups,” Jason said, holding up his hands. “I wasn’t thinking about my children’s culture and I’m sorry. But it’s still perfectly good food. Call it something else. Rice cups? Veggie cupcakes? Is that more culturally sensitive?”

Shoma’s stomach growled for the thousandth time in the past six weeks of this torture and, in the face of goddamn _sushi cups_ , he decided he had had enough. “I want a divorce,” he said forcefully. Jason’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. 

“What?! What the fuck?! Over one fuck up-“

“No, over six goddamn weeks of abuse!” Shoma cried. “My God, Jason, it’s emotional manipulation to use the fact that I love you to make me _miserable_! I hate everything! I hate every fucking thing other than my kids and you. I love you and I love my babies more than anything, but that’s it! And you’re using that against me to force me to accept misery! Without enjoying FOOD what’s the point of being alive?! I’m suffering emotional manipulation because YOU think we need to be fucking vegans, but I hate it!” Shoma shook his head. “I can’t do this anymore. And it’s not good for the kids at all. I saw Izumi’s fat little ass turning down birthday cake at a kid’s party! You’ve twisted my chunkiest kid into thinking he can’t have _birthday cake_ because Daddy will be upset!”

Jason sighed. “I can’t force them to not eat that way other places. I’m sure they eat potato chips at school when they know I’m not there if they want to. He is just making good choices based on my influence-“

“He’s six! He’s not making choices, he just understands that enjoying a piece of cake is ‘bad’ because his dad has him eating only healthy foods! Sure, maybe that’s true,” he admitted. “He takes after me and would eat the whole cake if you let him, but there’s nothing wrong with one piece of cake at one party! And none of this is some moral stance,” Shoma pointed out. “None of us are guilty about eating Nemo, Jason. I know you sure as hell don’t mind knowing your food had a face, you used to eat more burgers than I did! I’ve figured it out though,” he said, eyes narrowed. “You’re doing this because I’m fat and you’re worried your children with my DNA will end up fat, too.”

Jason glared at him. “That’s not true. It’s about being healthy-“

“Nobody ever died from eating goddamn chicken nuggets!” Shoma shouted. “Sure maybe this is healthier, and no, the kids shouldn’t do like you used to do and have a _suitcase of snacks_ ,” Shoma said, pointing a finger in Jason’s face. “But the children are too young to realize you’re pushing them into essentially dieting as little kids because they have a fat father and you’re worried they will look like me some day. Well I’m SORRY you married someone with fat-genes who blew up like a blimp after he stopped being an elite athlete and _birthed six kids_!”

Jason rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his palms. “Shoma. I keep telling you. It’s got nothing to do with that-“

“I know, Jimin turned vegan to keep from ‘shocking his system’ after he got too pregnant to run anymore, which is bullshit, by the way, that’s not how it works,” Shoma added. “But who the fuck is right back to scarfing down burgers now that he’s had his baby, doesn’t have pregnancy brain anymore, and can go back to running?!” Shoma demanded. 

Jason frowned. “Jimin is eating _meat_ again? What the hell, I thought he said the whole running group was going vegan for good-“

“Oh cut the shit, you know he’s not vegan, that was just a good excuse for you! I saw him going to fucking _town_ on one of Jonathan’s Famous Secret Recipe Burgers at Yuzuru’s house just yesterday in front of everybody,” Shoma snapped. “He had the baby in one hand and the burger in the other! So don’t play that shit with me, I know you’re just punishing me and my children for having bad genes!”

Jason gave an exasperated sigh. “That’s ridiculous. Shoma, listen to yourself-“

“No.” Shoma shook his head. “I want a divorce. I’m done with this. This is abuse. You’re abusing me and abusing my children because of my fat ass.” Shoma turned and started to leave. “I’m going to Yuzuru’s. We can talk about the kids when we’ve both cooled down.”

“Well fuck that, I’m not done with this! I’m calling Jun Hwan to come babysit and I’m going to Yuzuru’s too!”

“Fine!”

“FINE!”

~

Yuzuru opened the door and flinched at Shoma’s stormy expression. “Um, what happened? Are you here to kick my ass? I don’t remember doing anything lately-“

“I’m here to calm down but the pain in my ass has followed me. I’m going to your kitchen and drinking a big, huge, ice cold glass of milk, from a cow, and eating a goddamn cookie.” Yuzuru confusedly stepped out of the way, and Shoma heard Jason coming up the steps as he stormed to the kitchen. 

Jonathan was making dinner for the kids and smiled when he saw Shoma. “Oh hey Shoma, what’s up?”

Shoma slammed his hands on the counter and, in a moment of desperation, almost teared up as he asked, “Please tell me you have cow milk in this house and Chips Ahoy cookies.”

Jonathan chuckled awkwardly. “Um, yeah, only Yuzuru is lactose intolerant, why wouldn’t I have milk from a cow?”

“Long story,” Shoma said, then rushed to the refrigerator. He grabbed the milk and went to the cabinet to get a glass and filled it to the brim, drinking it all in one long string of gulps. The sweetness of the dairy fat hit him like a brick. When he finished, he gasped, slamming the glass down, swaying as joy filled his entire being. “Oh God that’s better than an orgasm,” he panted.

Jonathan looked at him like he was crazy and Shoma didn’t even give a fuck as he went to their pantry and dug around to find cookies. When he found them he went back to his milk cup, filled it up again, and started dunking with wild abandon. “Shoma. Um. Are you well? Are you having a mental breakdown? Should I call Jason?” Jonathan asked carefully.

Shoma snorted, spitting cookie crumbs on the counter. “Nah fuck that asshole. He can choke on his goddamn coconut milk and flax milk and whatever the fucking else kind of fake milk he wants.”

“Oh no, are you guys fighting?” Jonathan asked gently. He turned off the stove and came to put a hand on Shoma’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s go sit down and talk with Yuzuru. I’ll clean that up later,” he said, nodding to the mess Shoma had made with crumbs and an empty milk glass. Shoma felt bad about that but fuck, he hadn’t felt more satisfaction in his tummy than this in over a month and a half.

Shoma let himself be led to the living room and saw Yuzuru trying to get Jason to talk. Jason clearly had left a spot at his side on the loveseat, but Shoma instead ignored him and went to sit in the chair furthest away from him. “I don’t know why you came here. He’s my friend, asshole,” Shoma said bluntly.

“I’ve literally known him as long as you have, Shoma, stop being so stubborn,” Jason said plainly. 

“What’s going on with you two?” Yuzuru asked in confusion. “Why is Jason so cold and why are you so angry? You guys never fight this bad!”

Shoma sighed, putting a hand to his forehead. “Well, there’s no easy way to say it, but we’re getting divorced,” he said, and Jason scoffed.

“We are _not_ getting divorced!” he countered and Shoma glared at him.

“I’m not going to live like this anymore, Jason. You’re abusive and I’m done.” Shoma saw Yuzuru and Jonathan’s jaws drop from where they sat holding hands. “Yep, that’s it. He’s abusive to me and the kids and I’m done with it.”

“What the fuck?! Jason?!” Yuzuru blurted out, looking at Jason in horror. “But- but he’s _Jason_!”

“Wow,” Jonathan said, shaking his head in disappointment. “I can’t imagine it but… wow.” He looked at Shoma with gentle eyes. “Are you okay? Do you need to come bring the kids and stay here?”

Jason spluttered. “Cut the bullshit, Shoma, stop calling it abuse!”

“Fine!” Shoma snapped. “Torture, then!”

“Oh my God,” Jason cried, hands going to his head. “Shoma, how the hell is it torture?!”

“Because you’re making the entire family suffer from your horrible manipulation!” Shoma shouted back at him.

Jason sat up straight and looked at Yuzuru and Jonathan with a flat expression. “Ask him what exactly I’ve done to abuse him or our children.”

They looked at Shoma worriedly and Shoma put a hand over his mouth, fighting back a lump in his throat. “He- He made the family-“ Shoma closed his eyes, shaking his head. “He made the whole family go _vegan_!”

There was a long silence before Shoma heard the last thing he expected: Jonathan snorted. Shoma looked up at him, eyes wide with betrayal and Jonathan cracked up entirely. “Oh my God, is that why you were just shot-gunning milk like it was booze after a long day?” he asked, leaning against Yuzuru as he laughed even harder. “Oh God, and the cookies!”

“Shoma!” Jason cried. “You came here to drink their milk? Seriously? Are you really that bothered by vegan alternatives?”

Yuzuru however shoved Jonathan and glared. “Hey. It’s not funny.” He looked at Jason. “Listen, no that’s not abuse, but he’s clearly not in his right mind and that’s your fault!” he accused. “Jason. How could you make _Shoma_ go vegan? Shoma!”

Jonathan’s laughter died off at how serious Yuzuru was. “Wait, what? I don’t get it?”

Yuzuru looked at Jonathan. “For his twenty-second birthday, his birthday cake was slabs of raw beef for him to cook later,” he stressed. “Have you never noticed, in all these years, that Shoma eats almost only meat?”

“Well I know he likes meat and isn’t a big salad fan, but-“

“No, Shoma doesn’t eat vegetables at all,” Yuzuru stressed. “Potatoes and rice are about the only non-meat things he eats. No wonder he’s cracked and is in the middle of a mental breakdown. How long as this been going on?” Yuzuru asked.

“Six weeks,” Shoma said gravely and Yuzuru paled.

“Oh my God! Are you okay? Are you dying? Is that why you’ve lost so much weight so fast?!” Yuzuru got up and went to Shoma’s side, putting an arm around him. “It’s okay, Shoma. We’re having meatloaf for dinner. It’s nearly done cooking. You can stay and eat with us.”

Jonathan frowned. “Is it really that serious?”

Jason sighed, rolling his eyes. “I guess so. I thought he was fine with it. He wasn’t sneaking meat, he was really eating all the stuff we all are. And apparently I’m mistreating the children by brainwashing them out of being kids.” He shook his head. “I didn’t think it was this big of a deal, but Shoma’s clearly having an actual mental health episode right now-“

“I really fucking hate you,” Shoma snapped, and Jason flinched like he had been hit, and that’s when Shoma stopped. He looked at Jason’s hurt expression and realized what he just said and he froze. “Oh. Oh God.” He looked at Yuzuru with wide eyes. “I- I really am losing it, aren’t I? Oh my God!” He teared up. “Oh my God, I was demanding a _divorce_! What the fuck is happening to me?! Jason, I’m sorry!” he cried.

Jason instantly stood up and came over. Yuzuru moved so Jason could hug Shoma and Shoma clung to him. “I’m sorry, too,” Jason said, kissing his forehead as he rocked him. “Oh, Honey, I didn’t notice. I didn’t notice how badly this was hurting you. I’m sorry. You can eat whatever you want. And the kids can, too. Hell, even I want a burger every once in a while still. I just thought I was doing what’s best for our family.”

“You were killing him, dumbass,” Yuzuru said, gesturing to Shoma. “I mean sure he looks better than he has since at least the third kid, but I thought he was voluntarily losing weight, not that you were starving him!”

Shoma sniffled. “I’m so hungry all the time,” he whimpered, and Jason looked at him with so much regret.

“Why didn’t you say anything? I didn’t mean to starve you! Shoma, come on, why were you doing all this if you’re so unhappy?” he asked, cupping his cheek in his hand.

Shoma pouted up at him. “Because you’re my best friend and I love you and I don’t want to make you disappointed,” he mumbled.

Jason groaned, hugging Shoma close again. “Goddamn it, I really am a terrible person.” He kissed Shoma’s head. “Okay, come on. We’re going home and ordering pizza.”

“But Jason, just because I-“

“No, because if you’re starving yourself to not disappoint me, who the fuck knows what I’ve been doing to my children,” Jason said bluntly. “Shit, Izumi has lost weight, hasn’t he?”

“Yeah, a little,” Shoma agreed. “But it’s okay, he likes the food you cook, it’s just less fattening than his usual favorites.”

Yuzuru sighed. “Thank God. You two fighting is just wrong. Jonathan deserves getting fussed at when he does dumb shit, but you two are ‘that’ couple. I thought I would pass out when Shoma said the word ‘divorce’!”

Jonathan looked offended by that but didn’t argue. “I’m glad you two made up, too,” he said simply.

Shoma looked at Jason and slid his hand into Jason’s. “Let’s go home, okay? I’m sure the kids are worried about why we vanished and Jun Hwan showed up without any reason.”

“Yeah, we have to talk to them,” Jason agreed, and they stood up together. “Thanks guys, and sorry Shoma drank all your milk,” he said, and Shoma blushed, groaning.

“Oh God, I did do that!” Jonathan just cracked up again and Yuzuru hit him in the arm lightly with a glare as they walked out. 

~

Shoma and Jason sat the kids all down and sat together, holding hands. “Okay so guys, we need to talk.” Jason looked at Shoma, who nodded. “Chi Chi brought it to my attention that he’s been miserable eating the foods we have been eating lately. He hates eating vegan food and has only been doing it because he didn’t want Daddy to be sad.” Jason looked at the kids faces individually, watching for their reaction. “And that made me worry that maybe you guys have only been eating the food without meat or dairy because you also don’t want Daddy to be sad.” He waited and looked at them all. He finally saw Izumi pout some. “Izumi? Has eating this way made you unhappy like it does Chi Chi?”

Izumi ducked his head. “I- I like some of the food. But I don’t like having to not eat when I go to other kids houses,” he admitted. “Only Jungkook’s house has food without milk or meat in it when I ask for something to eat. And at Timmy’s birthday party I was the only one who didn’t get cake.”

“Yeah, when a kid’s mom brought cupcakes to class cause it was his birthday, Benji and I were the only ones who didn’t get to eat a cupcake,” Hanna said, and Benji nodded.

“They looked like really good cupcakes,” he said in a sulky tone.

Andrea spoke up in a very clear tone. “Daddy. I really, really miss pizza. The pizza you make doesn’t taste like pizza. I don’t like your pizza.”

Jason sighed, and Shoma rubbed his wrist gently. “It’s okay, Jason,” he reassured him. “Daddy and I have come up with a plan,” Shoma said, looking around the table. “Daddy is going to continue to cook some vegan food and some food for anybody who wants some meat or cheese or whatever. We’re going to have milk for everybody, not just Rentaro, again, and we’re bringing back the snack foods.”

“Oh my GOD, YAY!” Andrea cried. “I want Cheetos so bad!”

“Oh man it’s been so long since we had Macaroni and Cheetos!” Benji blurted out, and all the kids started talking over each other to whoever was beside them about what foods they missed the most. 

Jason chuckled and shook his head. “I guess I thought since they seemed to like what I cooked that it was all fine,” he admitted.

Shoma leaned his chin on Jason’s shoulder and hugged his arm. “I know. And I do think it’s not a bad idea to have healthier options for them. They loved that taco stuff you made, remember?” Jason nodded. “So having healthy food and Macaroni and Cheetos isn’t a bad way to compromise. You can have kids who like to eat healthy but also get to eat snacks and have birthday cupcakes and actually get to make the choice on what they’re eating.” He shook his arm gently. “Besides, you know some of the healthy options were big hits so they’re making healthy choices on their own when they pick them.” He smiled. “That sound good with you?”

Jason nodded and Shoma tilted his chin up to steal a quick peck. “I love you, Shoma. I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said, and Shoma just shrugged.

“You’re cute enough it’s okay to be dumb,” he teased, and Jason scrunched his nose up as he laughed. 

“Okay guys,” Jason said, standing up. “I’m ordering pizza, who wants what?” he asked, and suddenly the kids all started clamoring to make sure he ordered their favorites. Shoma watched him trying to take their orders and felt a wave of affection. It was hard to believe that two hours ago he has a mental breakdown over _food_ and wanted to divorce that perfect, perfect man.


End file.
